Chris vs. the Centipede

One night Chris was coming into the house from our porch when I heard/saw him yelp and jump about 6 feet in the air. "CENTIPEDE! I ALMOST STEPPED ON A CENTIPEDE!"

He dashed into the house and turned on the light. There it was...one of the most disgusting bugs on the planet. I wouldn't get near it, but of course I needed to document it "for the blog." I stood about 10 feet away and zoomed in as much as I dared. Even now, having to crop the darn picture I have the horrible heebie-jeebies. YUCK!!!!

It has helpfully climbed on my pen so you can have nice size reference. (And now I realize it was on the pen and that makes me want to sterilize all my pens since I just realized I don't even know which pen it is now...UGH!!!!!

OUR AUGUST ATTACKER

Chris grabbed his hiking boot and started smacking the centipede. After a few solid whacks we asked each other "Do ya think it's dead?" Just to be sure Chris grabbed a Raid canister of bug spray we had. He sprayed the centipede and you know what the stupid thing did???? IT CAME BACK TO LIFE. Not only did it resurrect, but the darn thing started JUMPING about 3 inches into the air all over the place. So, no, the centipede was most certainly not dead and now it was really pissed off.

Ok, time for a dramatic aside. Have you ever seen those old movies where the girl shrieks and jumps on the chair when she sees a mouse. That was me. Shrieking and vaulting onto the couch. Only I have a feeling I was not as cute and dainty as those heroines in the movies.

Give me cockroaches, mice, rats, what ever....but centipedes I simply cannot handle. This was the 3rd one I've seen (The other two were in my Makakilo house. We had to snip one into about 5 pieces with a knife before it seemed dead!) and I have no problem copping to turning tail and running on first glance. And now I've got one hopscotching across my living room. And you know how I knew it was bad? Chris - normally so calm under fire - was making just about as much noise as I was!

Chris, my knight with Raid and a hiking boot, regained his calm and started spraying and smacking the thing. He didn't rest until the centipede was convincingly smushed.

DEATH TO CENTIPEDE!!!

Sorry for the graphic image...hopefully you all have strong stomachs! Unfortunately we realized that there now disgusting pieces of centipede all over the floor. Even dead though, I remained safely perched on my couch rather than go NEAR the battlefield.

Of course I go to work and tell the story. My new co-workers and I bond over the things that scare/gross us to extremes. (One of my co-workers is terrified of geckos, can you believe it?! My insensitive response was to say to her, "You're afraid of the cute Geico gecko?" Sheesh, me and my mouth). Apparently there are 2 kinds of centipedes out here, blue and red ones, which I will NOT be verifying for you my readership because I do NOT want to know. The red ones are mean (um...YEAH...they apparently jump when mad). So my lovely principal goes - "Oh, you'll have them fall from your rafters." Now THAT just about sends me screaming from the room...you mean not only am I now paranoid, turning on every light so I can clearly see the floor, refusing to let any bedskirt/sheet/blanket touch the floor (I hear centipedes will crawl into your bed...AHHHHH!)...but now Sylvia's telling me I gotta be leery of some commando centipede parachuting onto my head?!?!?!?!?!?! So she tells me to just get brake cleaner fluid. Of course that will kill them - doesn't that just scream: "Corrosive chemicals!!!!" I'd hope it'll kill the centipedes. Let's hope it doesn't kill me.

So I'm hoping that given the fact I've only seen 3 centipedes in 5 years of Hawaii living I will not see another for a long long time. And if you are with me when I see when, sorry pal, you're on your own!