Kids Say the Darndest Things

So one of my FAVORITE things about elementary school are the little kids. They are so stinkin' cute.

This is an older story, but I love it so much I have to share it. It was Thanksgiving and I was doing an observation in a kindergarten class. One teacher was reading the story of Thanksgiving to her kids and she got to the part about how the pilgrims were being persecuted for their religions beliefs. The story spoke of how the king put the pilgrims in jail just because of what they believed. In an effort to try to get the kids to make personal connections, she tried to ask the kids how they'd feel if someone threw them in jail just for being them. Well this cute little kid in the back started waving his hands like crazy, "Ms. Fernandez! Ms. Fernandez!!!" When the teacher sort of ignored him, he blurted out loud as you can be: "My dad's in jail!" Ha! Poor Mrs. Fernandez said, "Thank you for sharing." Well, this little one wasn't done and proceeded to tell all about how his father landed in jail in front of the whole class. Ah, precious!

Recently I got this story from a counselor at mine. Recently she had this conversation: "How was your weekend?" The response, "Oh grandma kicked daddy out."
Counselor: Oh, why did daddy get kicked out?
Student: Cuz Grandma got sick
Counselor: Oh no! Is grandma ok?
Student: Yeah, Daddy was stealing her pills to sell weed.
Counselor: Weed?
Student: You know, what adults smoke to feel good.
(The child is in 1st grade)
Ha! Precocious.

And then the reason I wanted to write this post. Today I was just wandering around, not doing work although I have a mountain (really, I do). I went into a kindergarten class and this little boy came running up to me, reaching up like little kids do when they want to get picked up. Well he's way too old to get picked up, so I kinda went like he wanted a hug, but then he said, "Ms. W! Ms. W! I want to get tested!!!" Ha! So apparently getting tested for special education is the latest thing. I never knew sped could be so popular! (Although considering I'm getting initial referrals at a rate of 1 per day - which is totally ridiculous - there might be some truth to this statement)

You know, he's not the first to tell me this. I had a kid throw a temper tantrum - hard core, under my table, on the floor, wailing her little eyes out - when I tried to bring her back to her Head Start preschool after I finished testing her. Then she gave me the most long winded story about how her mother didn't bring her the right blanket and she didn't want to go back to school to nap.

As I'm walking out of the kindergarten class, a little girl follows me out. I turn around and scold her, "Go back to class!"
She gives me this big hug and while not letting me go she says, "Take me with you!"
Me: "I can't, I have to go back to work."
Her: "I want to live with you?"
Me internally (What the heck???)
Me: "Uh, Go back to class."
Her: "But I love you!"
Me internally (Kiddo, I barely know you.)
Me: "Oh! So sweet! I love you too."
Me internally (Did I just tell a random 5 year old I love her?)
Her: "I want you to be my mommy!"
Me internally (@($@*(%^????)
Me: "Oh I'm sure your real mommy loves you very very much."

Kids are awesome...it's too bad the adults aren't.