Sweating the Details: Veils

I didn't think veils would be so difficult to choose, but I suppose when you are as into sweating the details as I am I guess I shouldn't have been so surprised.  When I bought the dress I tried on several veils but really didn't like any of them and was completely turned off by the price.

For several months it seems I was trying to track down Jill's veil (Chris' sister).  It seemed like it'd be perfect - something borrowed, save me some money, etc.  But a few months ago I fell in love with a veil at BHDLN.  My sister and I had gone to the store to try different sizes for her bridesmaid dress and just for fun decided I should try on some of their veils.

While I've never really been the kind of bride to dream about my wedding day, I do know that whenever I did think of my wedding day I always dreamed about a lace edged veil.  There's something about it that is just so romantic.

 

The first one (on the left) is a fingertip length veil (the terminology you learn when getting married!), but the one I REALLY fell in love with was the one on the right - BHLDN's "Airy Lace Veil."  I probably looked at this picture at least 3x a week, it was ridiculous, but at $400, I just wasn't quite sure it made sense.

So I kept looking for veils.  I went to several shops and instantly disliked every one I put on my head.  I finally got Jill's veil and it isn't edged with lace.  Every place I went to was overwhelmingly full of beaded and bedazzled veils - totally not my thing.  And if they did have lace veils the quality was shockingly poor.  I was beginning to understand that pricing structure of veils.

One day I was on Newbury St. (A really expensive shopping street in Boston) and knowing I was asking for trouble, I wandered into L'Elite which is basically THE expensive bridal salon in THE expense shopping district Boston.  Of course I fell in love with a veil...sometimes I am my own worst enemy.

I showed my attendant/salewoman (on my phone, on Pinterest!) the BHDLN veil I was so in love with.  She said that with a garden wedding that a fingertip length veil is better because it doesn't drag on the ground and with the length it's much easier to wear beyond the ceremony (i.e. during the reception).  It made a lot of sense.

Then I asked the question I had been dreading...How much was the veil?  A mind numbing $560.  What a joke! As an unemployed, doctoral student that was waaay out of reach.  But then my attendant whispered that she could make it for less and wrote down a few numbers.

Uncertain whether this woman really had the chops, I went to her house and saw some veils she had in progress and she really did make beautiful veils.  Then the fantasy prone side of me just took off...a custom veil, handmade just for me! How incredible would that be?  She even said she would make BHLDN's veil for $300, $100 less!

The kicker was being able to look at all these samples of lace.  I even picked out a lace pattern that I not only love but also goes well with my dress.  Who knew one could be so obsessed with lace?

A shopping rule of thumb I always have is if I'm still thinking about it 24 hours later (and in this case weeks later), just buy it because I know I love it.  So suddenly I'm seriously thinking of dropping a hefty amount of money on a veil.

So I went to my second fitting with Jill's veil, the BHLDN veil and while I was there found a similar veil to the L'Elite one.  And I'm still torn, sooo torn.  It's times like this when I wish I was filthy rich and could afford both so I didn't have to make a decision.  I'm leaning towards one and need to commit soon if I want the veil to be ready in time.

So...stay tune for wedding day to see what I walk down the aisle with...maybe I'll be veil-less if I can't make up my mind!

But at least I'll have banging shoes

I'm picky about everything...not a trait that necessarily bodes well for wedding planning but it works for me. (On a side note, at my PA bridal shower today Chris' aunt told us that within a week Chris' cousin Mike and his fiancee had picked out nearly everything for their wedding in just a week!!!! Meanwhile I'm two months away from my wedding and still making decisions...eep!) So I thought buying shoes would be easy for a wedding. Like pick out something white and sparkly. So I go to Shoes to Dye for...strike out. Go to the mall...strike out. Go to DSW...strike out. Go online and of COURSE all the shoes I like are ridiculously overpriced designer shoes. Chris really is right when he says I have a nose for picking out the most expensive things. What can I say? I have eyes like I'm rich and a wallet like I'm barely middle class :) and actually right now, a poor walled since I don't work. These are the shoes I'm obsessed with:

But I don't know who makes them and judging by the rest of the shoes in the slideshow I found them in, they are a couple hundred dollars more than I want to spend.

But I DID manage to find these fun shoes and so one of these I'll be wearing under my "not so special" wedding dress!

Like everything else in my wedding planning adventures, it was exactly what I told my mother I didn't want...specifically I told her I was looking for "comfortable, sensible heels, no more than a 2 inch heel." I think both of them are 3 or even 3.5 inches or more...Let's hope I don't trip on my way down the aisle in these shoes!!!

Not so special...?

School's over so I can resume blogging at least less sporadically than normal. I actually blog quite a bit during the school year but in a professional blog which I mostly treat as a journal to track my thoughts during the school year. I wish I had done more of that since I know that I have made huge leaps in a year. Back to the wedding business. Things are going along swimmingly and I'll be backtracking to try to fill in some of the details...but first a little thing that has been bothering me. The other day I saw on Facebook that my cousin had graduated with his MBA, so I naturally facebook stalked his wife since we had only just met this past Mother's Day.

 As I'm going through her pictures I almost instantly see a dreaded sight. Did she really get married IN THE SAME DRESS? Now I'm frantically going through her pictures hoping for a better photo (they didn't get professional photos done - ? - At least there we have a major difference, I'm going for full-out wedding, they did it more reasonably, but definitely DIY). Then with a heart pounding I see the one photo that confirms it. She DID have the same wedding dress. This really makes me depressed because she's actually the second person I know who's gotten married in the same dress - my sorority sister did as well a year ago :(

 Boohoo. Now I liked my dress a lot. I wouldn't say I LOVE it, but it was within my price range and it looks great even if I was shocked to pieces I ended up picking it. Compared to how I made my other wedding choices, this was definitely one I just kind of made - not a ton of research done. So has my lack of following the usual method betrayed me? Did I get a "not so special dress?"

 So I do what I always do when panicked...I called my mom. My mother first asks me if I'm sure, but I'm staring at the picture as I call her so I'm sure. So my mother, bless her heart, says well she didn't really remember the dress haha and I have added details that make it different. Which is true, there are things I'm adding that are definitely different (obviously to be kept secret oh 9 readers out there so you can be surprised when you see me). I do have other tricks up my sleeve too that I'm sure will make it different. But still I can't help but feel my dress is a little less special now...and a part of me is paranoid that she's going to see it and think "ha! I wore it first!" (They are invited and coming to the wedding) In truth I know nothing about this girl and it's so silly that it's getting into my head, but I guess we all dream our wedding will be the most special and unique and it's a little weird to realize you aren't the only one getting married in your dress...not even within your family.

 Mostly over it, but it kinda sticks with me still a little bit. I'm sure when it's my day it will be the last thing from my mind.

Tomorrow, my makeup trial - so excited for that! Chris' cousin Jenna is offering to do our makeup and she's a fully professional makeup artist who's done magazine spreads, a TV show, etc. Nervous...if there's one thing I want most on my wedding day it's to feel beautiful in this special moment!  Here's her new FB page: https://www.facebook.com/JNKMakeup?ref=br_tf

Wedding Bands

Yesterday I bought my wedding band which was pretty exciting. There was an event at Barmakian Jewelers which is in my hometown where they had wedding cake samples and an open bar with wine, beer, champagne and mimosas which helped with Chris! Out of all the wedding decisions this one was the easiest. Although I made an effort to look at other bands, when it came down to it, the coordinating band was the way to go. I love my engagement ring and I love the details. I knew I wanted another Tacori so I could get the details which I find so special about the brand, but trying on the other similar bands didn't work. The scale really matters so in the end it was the matching wedding band that was the winner! I had a lot of fun people watching while we waited to be helped. I happened to end up kind of following around this one girl who was really high maintenance. She had a gigantic ring and I swear she tried on about 75% of the store. Chris kept making eyes at me because I guess she was being a little ridiculous with what she wanted. She kept bragging about all the jewelry she already had whoop de doo, guess there are people out there who think they are the center of the world. Then there was another customer who apparently kept asking unrealistic questions about what she wanted in a ring. The poor saleswoman was trying SO hard to be patient. People are funny, especially around DIAMONDS. Makes me feel really normal haha. The other interesting thing was apparently I do NOT wear a 4.5 ring like I thought. Chris swears he bought me a 4.5 ring, but on the sizer it came out to be closer to 3.75! I was shocked...that's freakishly small. Earlier another passing saleswoman had mentioned that there had been tiny people in the store that day and that she had a sold a 3.5 ring. At the time we thought that was crazy...then we realized I was around the same size. Yikes, I'm a freak. But ultimately I'm super excited that I can check off another thing off my list. Got a matching wedding band to match an engagement ring that I'm still obsessed with. I had always wanted to buy it at Barmakian's because the silly symbolic side of me thought it would be incredibly special to have my engagement ring from Hawai'i and my wedding band from my hometown. Cheesy :) Oh and the dealmaker in me loves that they accepted my $50 off coupon and then I got a gift certificate from Barmakian's for another $300 - yay! Chris found a ring we liked (Tacori - whoa, go figure), but since it was his first time even looking he didn't want to commit. The one cool thing we learned is that with Tacori men's wedding bands you get a sports band too...that way you'll have one you can get a little rough with. And anyone who knows Chris knows...he's probably going to need a lot of rings :) Otherwise, wedding planning seems to be going pretty well at long last. My next two big projects are the invitations, florists and videographer. I think that makes all the major decision points and then it's the zillion little ones! Starting to feel pretty good that there's going to be a nice wedding at the end of this journey!

The Magic of a Vendor Connection

Whenever I meet a vendor a lot of it comes down to some magical, unspoken connection with the company and individual. I've been pretty lucky so far in being able to have really good feelings with all my vendors, but none probably had as much of an effect as our ceremony and reception venue... Here's a story I just read about my venue and the amazing way they stepped up for a couple named Jenn and Erick. Here's the beautiful wedding they had just two weeks ago :) How amazing is it that a vendor along with several others can do such wonderful things for "clients?"

The All or Nothing Marriage - a NYT Article

I just read this interesting article on marriage from the New York Times...timely :) It's about the evolving state of marriage and one academic's theory on marriage today.

Decisions Finally Getting Maid (Heehee)

Bridemaids dresses were surprisingly challenging to pin down, but yesterday I finally made a decision! I think I knew for awhile since I discovered the dress, but I was waiting for some unknown reasons...not so good at pulling the trigger on decision making when it comes to wedding stuff I'm noticing. I didn't anticipate that the bridesmaid dresses would be so hard, but it was REALLY important to me that the girls felt good and looked good in their dresses. It was also important to me that the dresses not break the bank because I don't want these special ladies having to feel like attending my wedding is some crazy financial burden. When Lindsey and I went to look at dresses as usual I ended up falling for a dress that wasn't exactly what I expected to love AT ALL. There were three-four dresses that were really in the running, but narrowed it down to two. However, in my head one of the dresses (the Bill Levkoff chiffon collection) wasn't something that got me excited. I liked it more for the practicality, but I wasn't that crazy about the colors and I was kind of peeved about the fact that it just looked so "brides-maid-y." I was sad that I eventually let go of the idea of trying to find a dress that would be functional and re-useable in the future, but it did help me make my decision. That being said, I was down to one dress. I loved it. I loved the color. It was unexpected. Yet I was really nervous about it and I kept looking. Something about the dress I loved made me uncertain it would work for all the girls. Then, by accident I found ANOTHER dress I loved. And I really loved this one. But I knew better. I knew I needed to see it. So I made an appointment at a local boutique where they carried it because I wanted to try it on and wanted to see the fabric swatches. Experience has taught me that fabrics and materials really need to be seen in person. When I walked into Flair boutique on Newbury St. it was right there on the mannequin - stunning and gorgeous. I really loved that color, but that wasn't the color I envisioned and I already had made one color change... But something in my gut told me this was it. Unfortunately the color that I loved wasn't in the store, that it was a special order from the site I saw it at. All that was left was to get the swatch in the mail. But of course there had to be a wrinkle. Flair called me and said that NEW colors were coming in and that she'd send along the swatches as soon as possible. I waited a week, but finally could wait no more. Decisions have to be maid (made - ha ha) and so finally I made a decision and it feels so nice to finally gotten one big one checked off! Can't wait until people see them! I'm so excited, I want to buy one for myself!!!